WHAT REALLY HAPPENS IN THERAPY?
So, you’ve narrowed it down and decided on a therapist. If you are new to therapy in Southern California or online, you may be fuzzy about what really goes on in the room. You imagine it must be similar to what you’ve seen on TV, and besides, you’ve done your homework and you’re excited to meet the person who will give you their undivided attention for fifty minutes. Great! — But wait. There’s more.
There are a few concepts about therapy that I believe will make your on-boarding and first few sessions less stressful. If you’re new to therapy, it may not occur to you to ask about these things until you’ve had several sessions. Some clients don’t know how to ask. They think they will offend the therapist or that they don’t have a right to ask. Some who feel that way become frustrated and may quit therapy prematurely. Here are some therapy concepts to help you avoid obstacles to getting the most out of your counseling sessions.
What happens in my first counseling session?
In that first session, you should feel like you are in a safe space where you can be heard and validated. Is your therapist curious about you? Can you tell if they are listening by the questions they ask? Does it feel like they genuinely want to know you? It should, and over time you should feel like you’re growing to trust your therapist. During your first few sessions in my practice in Southern California, we’ll talk about your history, set goals, stabilize immediate problems, and acquire tools and skills for the deeper work to come.
How long do people typically go to therapy?
Every client’s process is different, so it’s difficult to predict how long we’ll work together until we get started. I ask my clients to commit to weekly meetings and a 6-month relationship, with progress measured monthly, if not more. I find clients progress faster when they commit to weekly sessions.
How long until I start to feel better?
Most people say that just having a safe place to go and a caring person to talk to helps them feel better right away. The healing journey can be a lengthy process, and the work we do will help you feel like you’re more resourceful, resilient, and powerful over time.
Can therapists give advice?
Not directly, but we will collaboratively and constructively help you work through challenging decisions. Our priority is to help you process information and feelings so you can think clearly. We believe you are the expert in your life. We emphasize your strengths and your natural ability to know what is right for you. To each of your sessions, we bring education, experience, wisdom, and our ability to ground, empathize, nurture, protect and guide you toward your goals.
What is the client-therapist relationship?
The client-therapist relationship is a very sacred space. That is not hyperbole. It is a collaborative creation where the therapist provides a container of nurturing and acceptance, and the client gradually feels safe enough to bring their true self into the container. The goal of any therapeutic relationship is to help you heal and thrive in an environment that magnifies your abilities, and it helps you apply those skills to the challenges you face. Therapists, counselors, and psychologists want you to progress to the point where you notice evidence of progress and share them with us. We find that very exciting.
A grounded and steady therapist will be open to discussing how things are going for you in the client-therapist relationship. We are looking for honest answers—the good, the bad, and the ugly. We want the best for you, and we can only do that if you give us feedback once in a while. Believe it or not, this is where the magic happens. If a client has positive experiences in the client-therapist relationship, chances are they will be inclined to experiment with relationships out in the world.
I hope this helps you feel more comfortable as you start psychotherapy. If you have any specific questions or concerns, please book a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’ll be happy to listen and direct you to the right person.
Brigitte Knight is a Human Design educator and mentor as well as a Human Design informed counselor. She loves teaching people to use their Designs to improve their relationships.
She helps former Mormons, Seventh-Day Adventists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and others manage religious trauma, anxiety, guilt, loneliness, and depression.
Her life’s experience as a Registered Nurse, therapist, ex-Jehovah’s Witness, and Human Design practitioner since 2006 can help you start living your best life.